Can You See Your Habits?

An amazing fact of human nature is that we can see other peoples behaviours more clearly than our own.  That is why we need help from others to change.  

The best person to help is someone who is outside you circle and is not involved with your life.  They will see the issues more clearly.  Counsellors and consultant can be very helpful because they are outside our world and have a different perspective.  I used to say they were objsctive but npw I say a different perspecitve.

They can help us find the triggers and rewards for habits and help us explore ways to replace one habot with another.  These people do not need to be professionals but have great skill in listening.  I have found that if I listen carefully enough the person will tell me the solution.  I then have to propose it to them and see their reaction.  They may not accept it right away but with my help they will start to change.  

I have a golf coach who works with me that way and has been very helpful is correcting my habits.  He is very patient with me.  So why am I not a better golfer?  I am not willing to spend the 10,000 hours of practice.   An example of a thought habit is how I think my swing should feel.  The thought results in an "outside in swing."   He has worked long and hard to change that thought habit.  However the habit creeps back regularly and I need to go back to the fundementals.  

Many of our thought habits are really quite ingrained in us.  We need to go back to the fundementals regularly.  

What are your thoughts habits that you cling to tenaciously which you know are not helpful?

  1. Jim Hayward Reply

    Thanks, Tim and Graham for your comments.
    It is fun to think how our personal processing systems works. One thing we do is create habits as quickly as possible to avoid thinking. The other thing is our processing system is slow but highly parallel.
    Thus our need to react quickly requires us to develop habitual reactions.
    The organism also has very strong survival instincts which are even stronger than habits.

  2. Tim Attia Reply

    Jim, this is an interesting one. Habits that may hurt you in one situation could help you in others. We live in an imperfect world. Sometimes just good enough could be better than excellence. I’m sure Tiger has achieved excellence but that does not mean he does not have bad habits. I think recognizing that you have them is key…not sure we need to replace them with other habits. At what point are things just good enough? Bad habits and all. Not sure the quest is perfection but maybe just good enough and not any better. Excellence and perfection may just be overrated…or not.

  3. Graham Reply

    In skiing I have a number of muscle memory habits that I have had to overcome. Sitting too far back on the skiis, letting the skiis run out from under me, reacting to bumps by tensing up, reacting to ice by over edging. All of these habits are potentially fatal, depending on how fast I am going and how many trees are at the side of the slope. Ultimately to stay in control at speed I have to break all these habits. my counsellor is the mountain. Skiing is a dance, the mountain always leads!
    None of us has a monopoly on wisdom. We all have habits that prevent us from achieving perfection. Otherwise what is the quest for?

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