Violence seems to be a common way of solving conflicts today in the world.
I recall a story one of my teachers to told me about his two young boys. They were around 6 and 8 years old. One of them went out doors to play when the other had to stay indoors because he was ill. The one indoors was so annoyed he climbed up on a chair so he could shout out the window to the other one and tell him how badly he felt about being left alone inside. The father was so proud of his boy talking and giving feedback rather than fighting.
I think we do so little talking and resort to fighting so quickly. There is so little mutual respect in the world and so much pessimism. I remember a story about Jimmy Carter being able to talk some very difficult leaders by showing respect for them. He did not have to like them to respect them and open a dialogue. If we could only talk more and try to understand the others position, maybe we would not resort to fighting so often.
So let us all work on mutual respect and practice it in our relationship with others. Let us, for example, talk with our children rather than telling them what to do. They also have a point of view and we need to help them learn to express it. One way of helping people express their point of view is by guessing how they might feel. With a child or an adult you might say "I guess you feel your ideas are not important. Tell me your idea." Or "Is it that you want to do it another way?"
In practical terms, we may not be able to solve world peace today, but maybe we could start where we are planted. In our families, friends, business associates, service people, and others, I think we all get mad and behave inappropriately. I know I do. I am going to resolve from now on to take a deep breath and, at least, find out the other person’s point of view. Let’s talk rather than fight.
"Cooperation is the iron clad logic of social living" – Alfred Adler
