In many conversations you often wonder why different people have different perception of what was said. I have often found that after a good conversation about an issue during a performance review; later the understanding seems to have been lost. How come we no longer have a meeting of the minds. I suspect the person reported to his spouse the conversation and the spouse gave the person a different perception of the communication. "You go back there and tell him he is being totally unfair. He just does not understand and appreciate you!" The person then just fusses about this situation and feels caught in the middle.
Therefore we must always remember that there may be more people involved in this conversation. I do not have a good remedy for this problem except to be aware. Remember those hidden factors.