Reviews – Third Person at the Table

In many conversations you often wonder why different people have different perception of what was said.  I have often found that after a good conversation about an issue during a performance review; later the understanding seems to have been lost.   How come we no longer have a meeting of the minds.  I suspect the person reported to his spouse the conversation and the spouse gave the person a different perception of the communication.  "You go back there and tell him he is being totally unfair.  He just does not understand and appreciate you!"  The person then just fusses about this situation and feels caught in the middle. 

Therefore we must always remember that there may be more people involved in this conversation.  I do not have a good remedy for this problem except to be aware.  Remember those hidden factors.

  1. Jim Reply

    I expect the people go home and talk to their spouse and the spouse does not agree and modifies their agreement. No notes can alleviate that issue. Maybe a followup meeting a week later to confirm understanding.

  2. panasianbiz Reply

    I have also noticed a tendency for the participants in a performance review to have a “meeting of the minds” during the actual review and then to disagree afterwards about what was said and what was meant by it. I think having both people take notes during the review is sometimes helpful in alleviating this problem.

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